Tuesday, March 11, 2014

The Power of Asking "Why?"

Asking "Why?" will tell you everything you need to make the next decision.

This can literally apply to just about any situation you'll ever have to deal with and I've found this to be true in both business and personal dealings.

I suppose that is why toddlers ask "Why?" so much. They're probably just trying to figure out why you're doing something and whether or not they should do it too!

The way people answer "Why?" helps you understand where the other person stands. From their answer, you can then decide whether to stand with them, stand on them or simply get out of their way.

Looking back on several of my life's most important interactions at work and at home, I've learned that most conflicts happen when I tried to go beyond simply asking the question. Now I just try to ask "Why?" with the intention of simply being content with the response, resisting the temptation to exert my own opinion. I've also learned that that is way easier to do in business than at home! Probably because the family situations matter so much more to me. I know now, that even if the response is inconclusive, opposite of my personal feelings, aloof or even confrontational - I try going into the question simply seeking more information, context or perspective. Nothing else.

What's the first question people ask when they don't understand something that's causing them frustration or emotional distress? They ask "Why???" because the situation has pushed them outside of their comfort zone and they need to find that balance or validation.

You may be surprised to find that there is a powerful peace that comes from understanding how people respond to "Why?" - even when the person asking and responding is yourself.

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